What I Thought Was Laziness Was Actually Executive Dysfunction 

Written By Danielle Ralston

For years, I wore the invisible label of “lazy” like it was stitched to my forehead. 

I wasn’t finishing things. I was always late. I couldn’t start the simplest tasks—even ones I wanted to do. And despite every planner, productivity hack, and stern inner lecture, I just couldn’t seem to “get it together.” 

So naturally, I blamed myself. 

I mean, isn’t that what we’re taught? That we just need more discipline, more structure, more motivation, right? 

Wrong. 

What I didn’t know then was that my “laziness” was actually executive dysfunction—one of the most frustrating, misunderstood traits of ADHD. And spoiler alert: it wasn’t about motivation at all. It was about how my brain was wired. 

The Myth of Laziness 

Let’s get one thing straight: ADHD isn’t a character flaw. 
It’s not a lack of effort, willpower, or caring. 
It’s a neurodevelopmental condition that impacts the brain’s ability to manage time, focus, regulate emotions, and… you guessed it—get stuff done. 

So when people say “everyone forgets things sometimes” or “you just need a better routine,” it feels like nails on a chalkboard—because this isn’t just forgetting your grocery list. This is crying in your car because you’ve been staring at the same 5-minute task for three hours and still can’t start. 

Sound familiar? 

Executive Dysfunction: The Invisible Anchor 

Executive dysfunction is like trying to be the CEO of your life… without any access to your assistant, your calendar, your notes, or your own brain. 

You want to move forward, but your internal systems are glitching: 

  • You’re paralyzed by choices. 

  • You forget what you were doing halfway through doing it. 

  • You can’t start the task—but you also can’t rest until it’s done. 

  • And when you finally do start? You hyperfocus, ignore food and sleep, and then crash like a squirrel on espresso. 

It’s exhausting. And yet, so many of us go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed—because we look "high functioning" on the outside. 

How I Started to Climb Out 

My turning point wasn’t a magic pill or a productivity book. It was a combination of: 

  • Learning the truth about executive dysfunction 

  • Working with an ADHD coach who actually understood me 

  • And discovering the power of something called body doubling 

(If you don’t know what body doubling is, it’s basically having someone nearby while you work, which somehow makes your brain stop panicking and start doing the thing. I don't know the science, but it works. It's like having a human anchor that tells your brain, “We’re doing this now.”) 

I also started seeing how co-regulation (thank you, therapist friends!) played a huge role. Sometimes our nervous systems just need to borrow calm from someone else. And when you pair that with a coach who isn’t judging you for your 17 half-started tasks and 92 browser tabs? That’s where the magic happens. 

You’re Not Broken. Your Brain Just Works Differently. 

If you’ve ever beat yourself up for not “adulting” well, if you’ve ever cried over a simple to-do list, or if you’ve ever wondered why everything feels harder for you… please hear me when I say: 

You are not lazy. 
You are not alone. 
You might just be experiencing executive dysfunction. 

And trust me, there are tools, strategies, and support systems that can help. 

 https://www.etsy.com/listing/4322694842/not-lazy-just-adhd-sticker-blue?ref=shop_home_active_30&logging_key=19214fe07e64404264bcfd1bb5aed8369779dd2b%3A4322694842

👉 Ready to stop blaming yourself and start working with your brain? 

Let’s stop calling ourselves lazy. 
Let’s start calling out the systems that weren’t built for brains like ours. 
And let’s do it together—one sticker, one checklist, one very neurodivergent laugh at a time. 

 

Danielle Ralston https://ndoutloud.com